Strange American man translates normie American speak

"I'm not a fan" = I don't like it but I'm so afraid of what other people think I use this veiled language instead of just saying what I really think-

Example- I'm not a fan of Del Taco, I got explosive diarrhea last time I ate there.

"It is what it is" = I have nothing to say so I'm just going to open my mouth and make a noise and say something that means nothing-

Example- I got fired, it is what it is.

"You're not getting any younger" = you are close to not being sexually desirable and your time of death is near-

Example- When are you going to get married? You're not getting any younger you know.

"Me time" = I'm lazy and want to sit around doing nothing-

Example- I really should be working on that project but I decided I needed some me time.

"Amazing" = mediocre, if everything and everyone is described as being amazing that simply cannot be true- so amazing really just means mediocre and non-threatening as most people/things are-

Example - Oh my god, this place is amazing and the food amazing, thanks for telling me about it Kevin, you're amazing.

"Oh my god" =  I have nothing to say as I'm currently formulating thoughts, instead of withstanding a few seconds of silence I'm going to open my mouth to make noise and call attention to myself-

Example- Oh my god I just got home and oh my god David texted me earlier and he was so rude oh my god.
"World Star" = I'm a literal moron and I'm making the sounds I heard other literal moron's say when the behavior I'm observing was observed in various videos-

Example- Oh shit! A fight! World star! 

"You only live once" = I'm interested in dying a horrible premature death because I have no impulse control and/or I engage in this destructive behavior as a form of procrastination from what I'm really supposed to be doing with my life-

Example- I wasn't planning on eating a birthday cake made out of meth and being in a gang bang but you only live once!

"Nazi" =  someone whose values or opinions differ from my own or from the group I identify with- 

Example- I was spending some me time at an amazing restaurant last night when this guy came in with a hat I'm not a fan of- My friend was like, it is what it is, but I was like, you only live once so fuck that Nazi, I'm going to punch him!

"I love that __" = I'm mildly interested in it now but soon I will be disinterested in as I am an American, a strange empty topical creature that is in a state of perpetual discontent-

Example- Oh my god, I love that show. Oh you know Randy? Oh my god, he's amazing I love that man.
"That's so funny" = That's not funny but I like the sound of my own voice so I'll say this to seem energetic and exciting-

Example - David was there too? Oh my god, that's so funny.

"Freedom" = slavery, except I can go to the drive through and get any food or drug I want at any time- I can also buy a gun and lots of mostly plastic things made in China-

Example-  The rest of the world is just jealous of us because of the freedom we have.
"Only God can judge me" = No one can judge me because I'm living for a higher power that I'm not really sure exists but I don't want to have to face the truths of my reality-

Example- Yeah I punched her in the face but I don't care what they say, only god can judge me.

"I don't have time for that today" = I wasted too much time tapping on my phone and/or with social media today

Example - I wanted to go to the gym but I don't have time for that today.

"Street cred" = I'm respected by no one that's respectable-

Example - I might not have any valuable skills or any education but I've got street cred and that's what matters.
"Keepin it real" = I've squandered my life on things that have no value outside of the delusions of grandeur I have about myself and the life I've wasted-

Example- Hell yeah I quit school and my job and I've done nothing but corrupted others and committed crime the past few years,  I'm keepin it real.

"...Death and Taxes..." = I've never heard of Satoshi Nakamoto-

I hope these translations are helpful to some people mystified by this Ameri-speak-




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